A guy was smoking and puffing smoke rings in the air..

His girlfriend gets irritated with the smoke and says to the guy: "Can't you see the warning written...

The Programmers' Cheer:

Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS".

Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

Girl: So, what's your idea of a perfect date?
Guy: YYYY-MM-DD, I find other formats a bit confusing.

*While looking up the sky*
Son: Dad, what are clouds made of?
Dad: Linux Servers, mostly.

A group of DBAs walk into a diner.
One waved over the waiter: “Can we join these tables?”

In Canadian hexadecimal, why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9 A?

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary, those who don’t.

Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

What do you call it when a programmer throws up at IHOP?
A stack overflow.

Why is it that women find C to be more attractive than Java?
Because C doesn’t treat them like objects.

Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah,” reply the bytes. “Make us a double.”