January 26, 2011 at 6:34 am
Article is missing my favorite. "It can't be done." A.K.A "It's impossible." 😛
M
January 26, 2011 at 6:56 am
It works on my machine
I always laugh when I hear this one. Somehow, the fact that it works in a development environment means that it was OK for this error to slip out into production where the customer will run into it. :ermm:
Fortunately, our development process has matured and we have better test environments now. It has been a long time since I have heard that phrase.
January 26, 2011 at 7:11 am
mike.styers (1/26/2011)
Article is missing my favorite. "It can't be done." A.K.A "It's impossible." 😛M
To which I always reply: Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of time and money.
January 26, 2011 at 7:17 am
Scott Arendt (1/26/2011)
It works on my machine
I always laugh when I hear this one. Somehow, the fact that it works in a development environment means that it was OK for this error to slip out into production where the customer will run into it. :ermm:
Fortunately, our development process has matured and we have better test environments now. It has been a long time since I have heard that phrase.
I've had reason to wonder about this one lately, is it not a normal step that even if it "works on your machine", and works in the test environment, to still test it in production once deployed, just to make sure? Maybe I'm just paranoid, but it seems like that would be something you'd want to do every time, so you don't end up looking stupid.
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How best to post your question[/url]
How to post performance problems[/url]
Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]
"stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."
January 26, 2011 at 7:28 am
I'm not sure if more memory will help: You could substitute CPU or disk drives for memory in this one, but it's your job to know. If you don't, learn how to tell what your bottlenecks are and make appropriate recommendations.
This is usually the result of a misdiagnosis, or people just not really knowing what the answer is in the first place, so they say anything to get you out of their office and absolve themselves of the responsibility. I have had Network Admins swear to me and my boss in the past that it was a memory problem when I told him from the getgo it was a Disk I/O problem. The thing that pissed me off was that my boss didn't have the balls to stand up for me when it turned out I was right.Well, as you can imagine i do not work for that person anymore. Sometimes, in this business you can't be wishy-washy when it comes to decision making.
That additional memory didn't help: The only thing worse than not being able to make a good recommendation is making one that doesn't improve performance after your boss has approved the purchase. Now you look bad, and you've made your boss look bad.
Again, this is a case of people just not knowing what the real issue is, and not having the time or energy to pursue it, so they recommend simple stuff like putting extra memory in hoping that it will solve the problem without having to do a lot of research or thinking about it. Usually these people don't last in this business. I call these kinds of people "board pullers"
Company X has offered me $yyyyy. Will you match it? You can get away with this once at a job, or maybe once a decade. If you want to go to your boss with this one, be ready to quit if you don't get it, and be ready to shine if you receive the raise. No one wants to be put in a corner, and I would be likely to let you move on if you came to me, unless I felt you deserved it. Even then, the second time you ask, I'm showing you the door.
Ultimatims are never good to give or get from anyone, and most times they just don't work anyway
I downloaded this software off the Internet and it crashed the server: You can't trust stuff you download, no matter what the Open Source crowd says. Test, test, test. Preferably on a test machine.
Well, this is just a case of stupidity, particularly nowadays in this business of rampant viruses and worms on the Internet. If you are hiring people like this I would venture to say this is more of reflection on you that it is on them.
It works on my machine: I have always wanted to answer this with a "Who gives a <insert four letter expletive here>?" My actual responses haven't been that far away if it's an important project and you give me this excuse.
Again, another lame reason for a person not having to think or do research. I have tended to filter these kinds of bozos out fairly quickly in the past. Snappy one liners, from managers or co-workers, when it comes to the company's production databases don't work with me. Show me you can think on your feet and do research, that is what impresses me.
😀
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
January 26, 2011 at 7:28 am
WayneS (1/26/2011)
I only mostly agree with #8 in the referenced article. Sometimes the issues that are causing you to look are out of the bosses control - or the issues are the boss.
I actually had to have a conversation with my boss about this recently because someone let slip that I'm interviewing for him so he could start working on getting a raise (a 3-month process here). The fun of the conversation was that my main complaints weren't money, were things that he was already aware I had complaints about, and doesn't have control to change. The only reason I hadn't already told him I was thinking about leaving for these reasons was that they were outside of his control. My goal has been to decide to leave before I'm completely fed up since I've known for years that I would want to move on to someplace else eventually so a raise would convince me it's not worth looking right now but it would probably only be a year or two before I'm looking again without major corporate culture changes.
January 26, 2011 at 7:34 am
TravisDBA (1/26/2011)
It works on my machine: I have always wanted to answer this with a "Who gives a <insert four letter expletive here>?" My actual responses haven't been that far away if it's an important project and you give me this excuse.Again, another lame reason for a person not having to think or do research. I tend to filter these kinds of bozos out fairly quickly in the past
If the work stops here and it's a, "It works on my machine so I don't have to deal with it," then there's a problem. However, if it continues on into, "It works on my machine, lets see why that's different," it's a whole different story. Looking at it from the DBA perspective there could be a data issue (either one in live that needs to be corrected or one you relied in the test DB that isn't correct) or configuration issue such as ANSI settings. It's not a bad thing to say that it works on your machine as long as you're using that as a tool to figure out why it isn't working in production.
January 26, 2011 at 7:47 am
"Where are the doughnuts? We used to always have doughnuts on Friday morning."
:rolleyes:
http://qa.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic944353-263-1.aspx
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
January 26, 2011 at 8:00 am
[p]So, Steve, if one of your employees receives a job offer that pays more than you're paying them, you'd prefer #8 from the list to which you linked than for them to come to you with that info? Why?[/p]
[p]You wrote "No one wants to be put in a corner ..." – you mean that you don't like evaluating whether you're underpaying one of your employees? It's revealing that you then wrote "... I would be likely to let you move on" – how magnanimous of you to 'let' your employee move on to a better-paying job![/p]
[p]Did you read the comments to that post to which you linked? Nearly every single one points out that employers often invite, let alone warrant or deserve, all of these behaviors by their own abuse of their employees.[/p]
January 26, 2011 at 8:04 am
cfradenburg (1/26/2011)
TravisDBA (1/26/2011)
It works on my machine: I have always wanted to answer this with a "Who gives a <insert four letter expletive here>?" My actual responses haven't been that far away if it's an important project and you give me this excuse.Again, another lame reason for a person not having to think or do research. I tend to filter these kinds of bozos out fairly quickly in the past
It's not a bad thing to say that it works on your machine as long as you're using that as a tool to figure out why it isn't working in production.
Exactly, and I don't have a problem with people continuing to do the research and eliminate the issues that is causing it. It''s the snappy one-liners like this that people use to absolve themselves of the further rsponsibility of solving the problem that I don't like. Another one I hate is "It is what it is." No, it isn't, not ALL the time. 😀
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
January 26, 2011 at 8:14 am
kenny-892481 (1/26/2011)
[p]So, Steve, if one of your employees receives a job offer that pays more than you're paying them, you'd prefer #8 from the list to which you linked than for them to come to you with that info? Why?[/p][p]You wrote "No one wants to be put in a corner ..." – you mean that you don't like evaluating whether you're underpaying one of your employees? It's revealing that you then wrote "... I would be likely to let you move on" – how magnanimous of you to 'let' your employee move on to a better-paying job![/p]
[p]Did you read the comments to that post to which you linked? Nearly every single one points out that employers often invite, let alone warrant or deserve, all of these behaviors by their own abuse of their employees.[/p]
I understand what you're saying, but it does appear a little polarised.
Personally, I believe there is a world of difference between "I've been offered a job at £xx,000; are you prepared to match that figure?" and "I've been looking at market rates, and feel my salary's lagging behind; could we discuss it, please?". One is an ultimatum, one is an invitation to parley. If confronted with the former, I'll open the door and step to one side. The latter and I'll offer a seat and get the coffees in.
Semper in excretia, sumus solum profundum variat
January 26, 2011 at 8:25 am
If it works on your machine, it should work anywhere, and if you don't know why or what the requirements are... You still have more work to do! To truely create a piece of code that is production ready, it needs to be able to deploy to a "bare-metal" machine from the ground up...
<thanks for the soap-box moment>
January 26, 2011 at 8:35 am
In the database realm, I don't hear the phrase "It works on my machine but not in production", but it's not uncommon to hear "It works in QA but not in production". Often times it more like "It works in less than 2 seconds in QA, but takes 45 seconds in production". Of course it's more useful to back up the statement with a schema comparison or profiler trace, so you can explain why.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
January 26, 2011 at 8:42 am
tommyh (1/26/2011)
I fail to see the problem with "It works on my machine". It could be an indication that the problem lies elsewhere outside your control and that maybe other ppl should look into the problem as well. Hell could be something as trivial as the antivirus program. From personal experiance Panda for instance doesnt work well with certain development tools in some cases (had to replace it with Avast)./T
It's entirely possible this does point to the issue, but the boss doesn't care. It's your job to figure out why it doesn't work. More often than not it's because the developer has coded something specific to their machine. Not all the time, but very often.
The developer needs to learn how to code better to avoid this.
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January 26, 2011 at 8:45 am
majorbloodnock (1/26/2011)
I wonder if this article could be followed up with "Eight things your boss shouldn't be heard to say".
Are you volunteering? That would be a good one.
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