June 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm
j_e_o (6/6/2012)
This thread has been hijacked. Where are the authorities when you need them? 😀By the way, when someone uses, :-D, they are making a light hearted jest and are not calling any group or individual to task. Most humor is poking fun at ourselves or someone else and is not to be taken seriously (with an emphasis on seriously).
Not applicable in this case. Travis makes deliberately offensive comments, usually significantly non-sequitur, insults everyone he thinks he can get away with (which is pretty much everyone when hiding behind internet annonymity), and then uses smileys to try to defend himself.
If I were to post:
"j_e_o is a <fill in hugely offensive racial/sexual/religious/cultural term here> 🙂 "
Would the smiley make the post okay? Of course not. It's just one of the ways abusive personalities try to defend themselves. "What, can't you take a joke?" after such comments. It's a standard practice for certain personality types and is a defense mechanism to avoid consequences by abusers of almost every sort.
Yes, a smiley can indicate a joke. The difference is that a standard social personality type will appologize for offense given, even if the original, offensive comment, was either meant to be humorous or was simply either misunderstood or poorly worded. It's simply polite and respectful to do so, and the vast majority of normally socialized human being realize that offense given, even if not intended, is something to take responsibility for, appologize, and move on.
Travis NEVER appologizes. Never. He deliberately offends all over the place, and tells people they need to shut up because he's allowed to post whatever he wants (hypocritical). When called on it, his knee-jerk response is to attack the person who was offended. Even in cases where no offense was given, in simple disagreements, his standard tactic is to switch to ad hominem attacks and tell the person who disagreed with him to shut up and stop trying to take away his right to free speech (or whatever you want to call it).
You can view his posting history by clicking on his screen name, to the left of the discussion body. You'll see every symptom I've name here, repeatedly.
For an immediately recent example, see his reply to me commenting about the irony of his post. His immediate response was not "Oh, you're right. I'm not a moderator, and I'm telling someone else to shut up because they're not a moderator. Ironic, isn't it?", then appologize to Jeff, clear up any confusion on the subject, and move on. His immediate response was to, non-sequiturely, reference glass houses about me. There's no actual connection in his response and what I wrote, just a compulsive need on his part to attack someone who disagreed with him, no matter how much sense it makes.
For the record, when I'm not being a DBA, I'm a counselor who regularly helps people with personality disorders of a variety of sorts. I've got years of training, education, and experience, on the subject of diagnosing, treating, and dealing with the consequences of, all of the various aberrations of human personality and thought. I've dealt with everything from loss/grief counseling, marriage-rescue (I'm good at that and kind of proud of it), through various neuroses, on up to compulsively violent criminal behavior and self-destructive (suicidal) levels of personality aberration. So, I'm not "making it up" or even attacking Travis. It's not behavior he has any conscious control over, any conscious responsibility for, nor any ability to "magically change". I am not trying to change anything about him through this forum. That would be impossible. I'm merely pointing out that he's a "troll" (to use the slang term - the professional terms I use for this wouldn't mean anything much to you without a framework to hang them on), and that he needs to stop being "fed". For his own good as much as the health of the forums.
So, please, again, stop feeding the troll. It doesn't help anyone, least of all him. It's enablement behavior, in its own way. Like handing a drink to a recovering alchoholic.
Does that clarify the situation, or have I muddied it even worse.
(Travis, sorry for "talking" about you as if you weren't here. It's not good for me to do, and I appologize for it. But I felt it necessary for others to have this data. You won't like the post, and nothing I can do about that. Feel free to be upset with me, if you want.)
(Steve, sorry for getting this kind of technical on this subject and doing so publically on your forum. I try to avoid doing so, but didn't feel I could avoid it in good conscience this time.)
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
June 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Who's attacking who here Dr. Freud? Geeezzz. talk about a character assassination... 😀
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
June 6, 2012 at 2:21 pm
"j_e_o is a <fill in hugely offensive racial/sexual/religious/cultural term here> "
Go right ahead GSquared. How about "j_e_o doesn't know what he's talking about 'cause he's probably drunk"? What should my response be if I'm Irish and there has been rampant alcoholism in my family that has led to great anguish and personal tragedy? Quite frankly, I couldn't possibly take offense if I could easily tell that the person making the post was making a light jest at my expense and he doesn't realize that I am, in fact, of Irish decent and that alcoholism has been at the root of untold sorrow in my family.
Being mature requires you to take a calm and calculated approach to most of what life throws at you.
(My apologies to Steve as well. This thread got off track so quickly I thought I was watching a ballistic missile in flight. After witnessing the ever deepening digression, I hoped that my 2 cents worth would help but, alas, I was quite wrong.)
June 6, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Feel better?
Cheers
June 7, 2012 at 6:40 am
j_e_o (6/6/2012)
"j_e_o is a <fill in hugely offensive racial/sexual/religious/cultural term here> "
Go right ahead GSquared. How about "j_e_o doesn't know what he's talking about 'cause he's probably drunk"? What should my response be if I'm Irish and there has been rampant alcoholism in my family that has led to great anguish and personal tragedy? Quite frankly, I couldn't possibly take offense if I could easily tell that the person making the post was making a light jest at my expense and he doesn't realize that I am, in fact, of Irish decent and that alcoholism has been at the root of untold sorrow in my family.
Being mature requires you to take a calm and calculated approach to most of what life throws at you.
(My apologies to Steve as well. This thread got off track so quickly I thought I was watching a ballistic missile in flight. After witnessing the ever deepening digression, I hoped that my 2 cents worth would help but, alas, I was quite wrong.)
You are absolutely correct that you would have the option to remain unruffled by it, no matter what I posted. But that wouldn't excuse it if I were to post something like that, with (for example) a highly-charged racial epithet. It would be irresponsible of me to do so, no matter how maturely or sanguinously you might take it yourself, and no matter whether I followed it with a smiley or not.
If, for example, I were insulting about the Irish, that would put Steve in a position of having to manage any fallout from people who might very well be offended by it. Some might even have personal history that would make the offense reasonable.
I regret the fact that my post about Travis had an inevitable offense to him built into it. I just couldn't see a way around that. I even correctly predicted his response (more attack, more smiley), and I still am uncomfortable with having written it. Would be more uncomfortable with leaving it unsaid, but it seems to be a choice between bad and worse. Not so much because I'm afraid of offending him, but because it leaves others in the fallout zone potentially.
Make sense?
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
June 7, 2012 at 7:59 am
Just an FYI. My smileys are automatically built in to my posts just like my signature, so there is nothing really to read into that. Also, in my defense I have respectively disagreed with people on this forum, no doubt, and I do not apologize for that. I have told people to mind their own business when I was responding to someone else, I admit that. I am opinionated, I admit that, and believe I am not alone on this forum in that either. Anyone can say anything they want about me on this forum and it does not bother me in the least. Does that make me a psycho? If so, then there are alot of psychos out there.:-P Sticks and stones....I have been in this business for over 28 years and have seen and heard just about everything in the book. So, nothing surprises me anymore, even when people call me every name in the book like today. I have very thick skin, you have to in this business. I take it with a grain of salt. But with that said, in my defense I do not set out to personally attack people and purposely say offensive things to people on this forum and if anyone can produce the post(s) to which I have then please do so. I will apologize. I have had over 2000 posts on this forum so I don't remember every post verbatim. Also, it is simply untrue to say that I have never apologized on this forum. I made a generalization once about females that I did ultimately publically apologize for and I believe Steve can dig that post out if necessary. This is a FORUM, and we have ALL ran off our mouth at times, myself included, like I said I have strong opinions about things. I have gotten on the "Offshoring of American Jobs" bandwagon alot on this forum, not because I am a bigot and offensive by nature, like some claim, but because I feel very strongly that it is contributing to the massive unemployment problem in this country. If that offends people then I apologize, I have also had very strong feelings about the Miicrosoft Certification tests validity and have expressed them as well and caught alot of heat on this forum for those opinions including people from Microsoft and other MCM's. Ok, I'm good with that, they do have a vested interest, so I understand that. But does that make me a candidate for a psychiatric hospital? I will let you ALL decide. Not just one person with an agenda and some counselling experience. I haven't always been right, so what? who has? its a FORUM. I will say though, that I have pissed alot of people off because I have disagreed with them, and they have an agenda because of that, that's a fact. No problem, not the first time and won't be the last. Thats the spice of life as far as I'm concerned. I don't expect everyone to see things my way, so please don't expect the same from me. I will close with this, and not address this topic again. If I have personally offended anyone with any bigoted offensive remarks, or called them nasty names like "troll" on this forum, please tell me the specific offense with link provided, and I will make good on it , this I swear, But will I continue to apologize for having strong feelings or opinions on topics on this forum? No, I will not. Thanks for listening. Travis. 😀
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
June 7, 2012 at 8:14 am
One thing that everyone has to give you Travis, is that you are unlikely to participate in any group think scenario's! The fact you sometimes rub people up the wrong way actually makes you the sort of person Lincoln might have liked? Maybe...
June 7, 2012 at 8:56 am
Travis, This is a public and professional forum. You need to expect people to respond to your posts, even if they are directed specifically to one person. Telling people on this forum to mind their own business is simply not appropriate. If you have a comment you want to make to a specific individual that you don't want others to respond to then send that individual a PM. That will keep it private.
June 7, 2012 at 9:03 am
Agreed Lynn. will do. However, those same rules should apply to others as well. Not just me. Instead of others calling me a "troll" or other nasty names publicly. please PM me and do it privately.:-D
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
June 7, 2012 at 9:12 am
Alright, alright. We all have thick skin, are always right when we are wrong, public forums and on and on. How about we ALL get back to our regularly scheduled programming?
Cheers
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