I got burned today at a SQL Server Interview!

  • My co-workers think I've gone insane. I'll be reading some of the posts and almost fall out of my chair laughing.

    Boss comes by and says, "So, what are YOU doing with your time?"

    Ummm, research, Boss. Really! That's all I use SSC.Com for. Honest!

    We're discussing the merits of ... DBA learning opportunities. @=)

    Hmm. I better double-check whether or not he subscribes to this site... (hee)

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Just throw them some prok chops!

    :w00t:

  • Here's a vote for Bob! Keep posting.

  • I KNEW IT!

    I told you, Bob. Didn't I tell you? Post a challenge and even SSC.Com's Lord & Master has to contribute!!!!

    πŸ˜€

    Tell us of your geekdom, Oh Great Steve! Let us hear tales of things you impressed interviewers with that weren't quite SQL related.

    Puuh-lease??

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Yeah come on Steve, let's hear your best story about farting horses! πŸ˜›

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

  • Go Steve Go....

    Forget about the fact that you have to write the EDJ for tomorrow. Tell us your story... How did you get the cushy job you have now? πŸ˜‰

  • I got hired once because I'd been in the Navy... that's as close as I've got to an "outside" talent getting me hired story... Jeez, that sounds pathetic.

    ----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software

  • You think that is sad. Here is my best story.

    I once had a situation where a company called me up and asked me if I would be interested in interviewing with them. Knowing that things were a little shaky in my current job, I agreed.

    I later found out it was the company that I worked for that sent my resume out to their competition to get me a job so they wouldn't fee bad about closing the office.

  • Bob, I have only one thing to say to your story... OUCH!

    At least your "current" employer was looking out for you, though. Still, it would have been nice if they'd asked you first.

    Grant, your story is fine. You just need to hype up it up a little. Add in a bar brawl, a couple of girls and an Army private who didn't know a mast from a rudder. I'm sure we'll all be loving it then.

    And don't forget the Dark Elf Ranger with the Sniper Bow and a dog companion called "Pork Chop".

    @=)

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

  • Oh boy! Someone said "Pork chop"! Let me get my magic sling... πŸ˜€

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.
    "Change is inevitable... change for the better is not".

    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)
    Intro to Tally Tables and Functions

  • Jeff Moden (3/13/2008)


    Oh boy! Someone said "Pork chop"! Let me get my magic sling... πŸ˜€

    I just had a Bladerunner moment....

    "Do Jeff's DBA's dream of flying porkchops?"

    Definitely time for more caffeine...:cool:

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part...unless you're my manager...or a director and above...or a really loud-spoken end-user..All right - what was my emergency again?

  • Brandie Tarvin (3/13/2008)


    Bob, I have only one thing to say to your story... OUCH!

    At least your "current" employer was looking out for you, though. Still, it would have been nice if they'd asked you first.

    Grant, your story is fine. You just need to hype up it up a little. Add in a bar brawl, a couple of girls and an Army private who didn't know a mast from a rudder. I'm sure we'll all be loving it then.

    And don't forget the Dark Elf Ranger with the Sniper Bow and a dog companion called "Pork Chop".

    @=)

    Oh, you want sea stories...

    You want to hear the one about operating a nuclear power plant while drunk or the one about cleaning up radioactive water with a bunch of towels or how to smuggle cases of wine into the engine room of a submarine to get them past the TAX MAN or, let's see, drunken routes through France, did you know everyone in Brest uses frigging identical little trash bags with these little handles on 'em that let you toss them really hard?

    ----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software

  • Grant Fritchey (3/13/2008)


    ... or the one about cleaning up radioactive water with a bunch of towels ...

    What a coincidence. Do you just light up a room when you walk in too? :alien:

    Actually mine was different (we are drifting off topic again) Oh well...

    Right out of college(pre 1990 is all I will say), with a BSEE, I got assigned to work in a Nuke Plant (I don't want to say which one). While I was there, we tried to turn it on. We had some instrumentation that said we had 18" pipes vibrating as much as 12". We thought it was a bad signal until we started breaking hangers. Lets just say when there was someone near by to watch it start up, they came out screaming :w00t:

  • That's why they call us glowy bubble-heads....

    I was working Engine Room Lower Level one day when the Upper Level guy was starting up one of the electrical generators. It's a turbine about eight feet across and about 15 feet long. So the steam was coming through, turning the turbine blades at some insane speed like 15k rpm. Engine Room Upper Idiot forgot to open the exhaust valves. I heard Thor himself hammering above my head and looked up to see all 15 feet of generator jumping up up & down. There was nothing to do, no where to run, so I just stood there looking at death going "Oh s**t, oh s**t, oh s**t..." in my head. Luckily he was quick on his feet and we all lived through it.

    ----------------------------------------------------The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... Theodore RooseveltThe Scary DBAAuthor of: SQL Server 2017 Query Performance Tuning, 5th Edition and SQL Server Execution Plans, 3rd EditionProduct Evangelist for Red Gate Software

  • Grant, you and my brother would defintiely have some stories to tell. He was nuke in the Navy also. He served on CVN-65.

    I wish I could remember the stories he told me, but its been over 20 years.

    :alien:

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