jouska – a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head – a crisp analysis, a devastating comeback, a cathartic heart-to-heart – which serves as a kind of phycological batting cage that feels far more satisfying than the small-ball strategies of everyday life.
This happens to me all the time. Maybe this is something I should work on in therapy? However, since I try not to should-on-myself, I’ll see if I can reduce this internal dialogue.
Sometimes it’s productive for me, such as the times I’m gaming what questions someone might ask me about a presentation or how I will pitch something in a meeting. In these cases, running through the “ideal” conversation in my head is good initial prep.
However. I sometimes have this crazy hypothetical conversation in my head when someone has upset or offended me. I’m sure “I’m right”, and I work through all the great things I would say and how I’d show the other person they are wrong.
Things never work out that way, and I hope I find ways to engage in less jouska.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows