Yesterday in Part 1 I wrote about opening doors – the art of showing others what is possible within the context of your own experience. Today, let’s take a deeper look at that idea.

The problem with opening doors is that for most people, they have to be in the right place at the right time to ‘hear’ the message. That’s a combination of the person giving the message, the message itself, how the message is delivered, and where they are in life (experience + situation). In the best case someone will come up to you after a meeting or a presentation and say “I’d like to learn to be a presenter, can you tell how to get there?”. If you get that question, stop – and put some thought into how to encourage that person. Maybe it will become more like coaching or mentoring, maybe you’ll never see them again, but your initial answer could be the impetus they need to do interesting things.

What about those that don’t know to ask the question? Maybe they are on the cusp (whether they know it or not?) of seeing that open door, how do I spot them, encourage them, without becoming  someone who is constantly showing others the path to walk. That might be useful, but it also tends to be down right annoying, as there are many paths to success, and no guarantee that anyone but me could walk my path.

My stance is to err on the side of caution, barely! Every time I speak to a group, I try to inject something into that presentation that might spark someone to grow beyond just the pure technical. It’s often not even a slide. What I want to do is make them realize that there is a door there, and that I’m approachable with regards to how that door works.

So what doors do we want to open?

• Participating in the SQL community and the benefits, both as a passive consumer (step 1) and an active participant (step 2)
• Presenting at a user group or SQLSaturday or even the PASS Summit
• Networking
• They are as smart as I am (but not necessarily as experienced…yet!)

It’s not usually that easy, for you or for them. Sometimes you have to plant a seed that may take years to grow to the point that they can take a big step. One example is networking. Let’s say that you’ve had some success – you’re a manager, an MVP, a successful speaker, something that indicates success. Most ‘regular’ people are a bit in awe of someone that has accomplished things and are reluctant to approach them, or discuss technical matters for fear of ‘looking dumb’. Imagine that the first time they ask a question of a ‘big name’ they get a condescending answer. Not only does that represent a bad experience, it can make them think that all of us are like that, and why would they aspire to move into that circle?

On the other hand, if they get a polite response (even if the question wasn’t very good), maybe they get a little more interested, thinking, hey, that wasn’t so bad. Now imagine the impact if after the presentation you take time to follow up with that person, add some more detail, show that you’re interested. What seed have you planted then? Do they see the glimmer of a door at some point?

This is hard stuff to write, in part because it’s not simple and mechanical, in part because I don’t have all of the answers. Maybe not even many of the answers. One area where I feel like I’m missing something is that I don’t want to define success as inspiring the next superstar, it could – and should – also be about helping someone realize that they can be a lot better than they are professionally, without taking anything away from what they have achieved.

Tomorrow, one more part!